IS REJECTION RIGHT?
Unwed mothers often live on the fringes of society, all because of one mistake they made. Should they be marginalised forever?
- BY SIEW MEI FONG.
While most new mothers are preoccupiedwith enjoying and caring for their newborn, Karen (not her real name) 35, is worrying about securing a long-term roof over her head and that of her five-week-old baby girl.
The unmarried mother was booted out on-the-spot when her landlord found out about her pregnancy. As her parents are deceased and her brother has ignored her plight, she has been putting up at a pregnancy crisis shelter.
UNMARRIED AND PREGNANT
In Singapore, there is undeniably a social stigma associated with being an unmarried mother. Social workers and counsellors, however, say the taboo is not as strong as before. “These days, people are more broad-minded about pregnancy outside a marriage,” says Ms Rose Boon, Co-ordinator of Pregnancy Crisis Service (PCS) which runs a helpline for those having problems coping with their pregnancy. Generally the public tolerates unwed mothers better, she thinks.
But while outright condemnation or rejection is not as intense as in the past, the lot of unwed mothers remains a tough one.
A TIGHT SITUATION
Socially, unwed mothers have to contend with non-acceptance by family and friends, as well as nasty remarks, but they say their biggest struggle is bringing up their child on their own.
Any parent in Singapore knows how challenging it is to raise a child on a single income here. For unwed mums, it is more so. As they are considered singles, they do not qualify for benefits, such as tax relief, that married mothers do. Finding affordable housing and childcare are other common issues that unmarried mothers grapple with, particularly those with lower incomes, especially if their families turn their backs on them.
Karen, who is in midst of appealing to the authorities to rent a HDB flat, acknowledges that her $800 per month income won’t be enough. Rental and childcare will take up a huge portion. “I’ll have to look for a second job, maybe some part-time work at night,” she says.
Then there is juggling the day-to-day logistics all by themselves, such as sending their baby to childcare before rushing off to work.
“It’s always about financial constraints, job security, and the affordability and lack of childcare support,” says Ginny Phang, Co-founder of Flying Solo, a local support group for unwed mothers.
